Good Bye Life
by love2readfanfic
Summary: The team must deal with the loss of one of their own..Please review but be nice...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters they all belong to Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS…I do however, own Bill and Mary Sidle and her brother.

I wrote this story a while back and then life got crazy…I decided to go back and rewrite parts of it and make some changes.. I am doing this with no beta so if my grammar sucks sorry! I will be finishing it hopefully soon! Please review but be nice, please….If anyone is interested in being a beta please let me know…Hope you enjoy!

Sara Sidle cursed as she knocked all her books from the bookshelf. She has always been proud of her collection of books because every one of them linked with her work. But she felt angry today, she scolded, nothing changed then. She was tired, tired of life. It seemed everyone was watching her every movements and finding her weakness, especially Grissom.

But today was difficult, why did Grissom have to put her on this case. He knew that rape cases where hard on her, this one was no exception to the rule. Then there was the issue of Grissom turning her down when she asked him out for lunch. She winced, it was a big mistake, to think that Grissom actually liked her!

Slowly, she took her cell phone, badge and gun off her belt, laying most of it where it wouldn't easily be found. It would have seemed like any other day, come home from work and fall into bed and sleep a restless sleep. A sleep full of nightmares, but tonight was unlike any other.

Some of the anger faded as she heard a yap. It was her puppy Ben, the reason why she want to go home so quickly. The sweet puppy looked up to her with its big brown eyes. A smile tugged at her mouth, gosh, that dog can always cheer her up.

She sighed and picked up the silkily collie puppy.

"Ben." She whispered and she laughed as the puppy stick out his tongue and wags his tail furiously.

She pats the puppy as she gently put him down onto the floor.

She would ask Lindsey to raise the puppy, she knew Lindsey would love and care for it. She hoped Catherine won't mind, that way she will know that Ben will be happy. She wanted Ben to be happy because he was the only one who loved her.

She walk to her kitchen; grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniels, she picked up some paper and a pen along the way. Spreading them out, she got herself comfortable as she began to write letters for her co-workers.

She sighed, taking a long swig of the liquor she started her letters. Grissom would be first. In her unique handwriting she began;

Dear Grissom,

I am sorry you never loved me the way I loved you. I had such hopes when I came to Vegas we could be together, but you would never let me in. Never let yourself love me, I tried to walk away but I just wasn't strong enough. Even though it hurt me, I kept the plant you sent. Those words; From Grissom cut me like a knife. All I asked was for you to have dinner with me. Maybe it would spark something in that cold heart of yours. Well I won't be a worry to you anymore, I hope you will find someone who will make you happy. Just remember I have and will always love you, Grissom. Sara.

Again she sighed as she quickly wrote five more letters.

Dear Lindsey,

I would be honored if you would look after Ben for me. He is a wonderful dog and you two will be great for each other. Be good for your mom Lindsey she is a smart woman who loves you a lot. Sara.

Dear Catherine,

I'm sorry that I could never live up to your standards. That I could not solve Eddie's case, I would have done anything to give you and Lindsey closure. I wish we could have gotten to be better friends. You are a hard act to follow, take care of yourself and Lindsey. Do me a favor look after Grissom; take care of him for me. Sara.

She took a drink of the Jack Daniels before she started her next three letters. She needed the alcohol to numb the pain.

Dear Nick,

Oh Nicky, you are a great person and I am so proud to know you. You always put a smile on my face, I will never forget you. You are a great CSI, a better one than I ever was. Take care my friend. Sara.

Dear Warrick,

We haven't got on a good start but I am glad that we became good friends. Be good for Grissom and be the best CSI. Be the one I never was. Take care of yourself. Sara.

One more to go she thought taking another drink of the Jack Daniels straight from the bottle.

Dear Greg,

My favorite lab rat, what can I say. I am sorry that I never gave you a chance. You have been a good friend to me and I am so sorry. Take care. Sara.

Sara cried as she placed the letters carefully by her bedside. She called Ben to her room, giving him a kiss and pushed him out of the room.

She finished off the bottle rest of the bottle of Jack Daniels. Her gun was lying in the middle of the bed; she knew what she had to do. She felt she had no other options, this was best for everyone. She didn't care that her friends would be the ones who had to clean up her mess; she lifted the gun and pulled the trigger. And everyone always worried she would eat her gun. Guess they were right, "Good-Bye Life, Good-Bye Hell!"


	2. The discovery

Title: Goodbye life

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Author note: Please review, we can't live without them!

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Sara's neighbor Beth nervously knocked on the door, wondering what was going on in Sara's apartment. She had heard a gun shot earlier, but figured it was just some program Sara was watching. They could occasionally hear each others TV's and music.

Grabbing the dust rag from the table she went back to her housework, tired from cleaning she had just fixed herself a cold drink. That's when she heard it, Sara's dog Ben barking and whining. This was the first time, she had ever heard the dog he was normally quiet and something just did not feel right.

Thinking back Beth remembered that she had not seen Sara out walking Ben at her normal time. She had gone to take the trash out expecting to see Sara, when she hadn't she figured Sara was still at work. Beth was aware of the crazy hours she kept, she had seen her on more than one occasion leaving very late.

But now Beth wondered if what she had heard wasn't something more. She walked up to Sara's door putting her ear up to it, she didn't even hear the TV. A worried Beth knocked loudly on Sara's door, when she got no answer she put her hand on the knob. She was going to just check and see if it was unlocked, she took her hand way quickly when another thought entered her mind. What if Sara was just asleep, but what if something was terrible wrong. She pounded on the door with urgency, after once again getting no answer she made a decision.

She sighed and hurried back to her own place, picking up the phone. She said a silent prayer and dialed 911. The phone rang for a couple of seconds before the operator answered her call.

"911 what is your emergency?" The operator asked. "I think there is something wrong with my neighbor." Beth's words were almost incoherent. "Her dog has been barking and whining, and earlier I heard a gun shot she won't answer her door." There was panic was rising in Beth's voice.

"Okay madam I will send an officer over right away, please don't enter the residence until the office has checked it out."

Waiting for the cops to show up, seemed lik forever, but it was only five minutes before an officer showed up outside the apartment complex. Explaining in detail what she had heard, the officer assured her he would check on Sara. He told her to wait inside her apartment.

Once the cop made sure Beth was safe, he knocked on Sara's door where he received no answer. The officer knocked again and once again receiving no answer. He checked the door knob to see if it was locked and it was.

Unsure of the situation inside he called for back up; when everyone was in place he forced the door open. Once inside he walked through the apartment with his gun drawn, slowly making his way from the living room to the kitchen. Seeing no sign of anyone or trouble, he slowly made his way down the hallway coming to the bathroom it to was empty.

That's when he noticed the puppy sitting outside the bedroom door. Opening the bedroom door slowly, his gun still drawn, he looked around the room. Everything seemed to be in place, and that's when he noticed Sara's still body laying on the bed. Her gun still in her hand beside her body. He reached down feeling for pulse, when he got none he walked back out shutting the door behind him. He reaches down and picked up the puppy holding it close and walked outside. He made the call to dispatch, letting them know that they would need CSI and the coroner.

Grissom walked into the break room, his eyes scanned around the room. His fell when he saw Sara wasn't present, she was always on time. Normally early, and that's if she had not been there all night. He was starting to worry she hadn't called in sick, and it wasn't like her to just not to show up. But then again she hadn't exactly been acting like her self lately.

"Anyone seen Sara this evening." Grissom asked the others who sitting around the table in the break room.

"No, I figured she was already working on something, maybe she is just running late." Nick answered his eyes not leaving the video game he was playing. The others just shook their heads no, indicating they hadn't seen the missing CSI.

"Alright, lets get started, we have a busy night." Grissom started handing out assignment slips.

"Catherine and Warrick you have a DB at 214 Causeway Dr." Grissom read off the assignments just like any other night. Something about that address didn't sit right with him, but he continued on. "Nick you and I have a double murder at the Tangers." Everyone said their goodbyes and headed out.

Catherine and Warrick walked up to Brass, standing just outside the front door. He had had just gotten there himself, he had been at another crime scene.

"Well lookie here, if it isn't the dynamic duel." Brass teased Catherine and Warrick.

"So, what do we have here? Murder? Suicide?" asked Catherine, she ready to get started. "Has Doc been called yet?"

"Well, it looks like suicide cut and dry, but you never know. Anyway the officer said it's pretty nasty in there. She was shot once in the head he thought the lots of blood. The neighbor call 911, I will talk to her again. Said she heard the dog crying and barking, and that heard a single gunshot earlier in the evening but thought nothing of it. The victim is in the bedroom no id yet. Officer Jamison is in the car with the dog, he was the one who found the poor soul. He just walked in and straight out, bringing the puppy with him." Brass quickly looked through his notes before letting the CSI's go in.

"Wow, thanks Brass. Let go Warrick." With that Catherine spins on her heels, picking up her sliver case and left with Warrick closely behind her.

Something about this apartment felt strange, but she could put her finger on it. Catherine felt that she has been here before; maybe it was just a different crime scene one in the past.

Looking around the apartment she could tell who ever lived here wasn't here much. The TV and furniture was dusty, she also noticed that there weren't a lot of pictures in the house. Making her way to the bedroom, that strange feeling from before made its way back into her stomach. The closer she got to the bedroom door, that nagging feeling took over again.

She doesn't even know why but she gripped hold of Warrick hand, opening the bedroom door, she let go and slowly walked into the room. It was dark, who every this was didn't want anyone to see. She took a good look around, before snapping on some gloves. Picking up the gun beside the body, she noticed it was a department issue 9mm. Slowly she moved some of the body's hair out of her face and that's when she saw who it was.

Catherine stared at the face lying on the bed, she couldn't believe what she saw. It all rushed back to her, it was her co-worker place. Rubbing her eyes, she did a double take, it was really her.

"Oh god, no, " Catherine let out a scream "No, Sara! No!"

That's when Warrick knew that this became not only a crime scene but a fallen friend.


	3. Telling the guys

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to the wonderful Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS…Thanks Jerry for letting for loaning them to us…

Once again I ask you to let me know what you think…but please be kind…

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Brass heard the screams and went running into the apartment half way down the hallway he came upon Warrick quickly ushering Catherine from the room. Unsure of what he was about to find, he followed Warrick and Catherine outside the front door.

"What is it?" He inquired. "Who was in that room?"

"Sara." quietly Catherine said her name. "It was Sara!"

The three couldn't believe that she was gone. Catherine's hand's were shaking, Warrick had a protective arm around her shoulders. Suddenly she bolted from the porch it was all she could do to keep down the bile that was threatening to come up. She made it to the grass on the side of the apartment building before her dinner reappeared. She would never forget the image of her friend and co-worker lying on that bed dead.

" Sara's de dea dead? Brass's shock was just setting in. "What happened?"

"We don't know yet," Warrick told him.

Catherine walked back over to them dazed and confused with so many unanswered question.

"You are going to have to call Ecklie and have him take over your to close to this case." Brass told him gently, he knew how the nightshift felt about Ecklie. "What about Grissom, Nick and Greg?" Brass had so many questions going through his mind all at once. "Who is going to tell them?"

"I will!" Convection in her voice. "I will be the one who tells them." Picking up her kit she walked toward the Denali. "How will I tell them that Sara is gone?" The tears starting their journey down her face.

Warrick pulled his phone out and dialed Ecklie's number, after explaining the situation he quickly hung up.

"I'm going with you." Warrick was trying to catch up with her. "You not doing this alone!"

"Brass, do you think you could have the officer stay for a bit, Ecklie and some of the day shifters should be her shortly." Warrick turned and asked. "I don't want the others to find out form Ecklie."

"Sure, I will stay here and wait for doc and make sure he knows what's going on. It will still be a bit before he gets here anyway." Brass told him.

"Thanks, Catherine let's go sweetie." Warrick took Catherine by the arm and helped her into the car, her tears still falling. He decided that he had to be strong for Catherine and the others he would grieve in private later.

The trip back to the lab seemed to be too short. Warrick took a deep breath as he pulled the vehicle to a stop. He knows that this was going to be the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Those three men in there loved Sara each in there owns ways but they loved her. They are going to be crushed, notification of next of kin was always the part of his job he hated. He stepped out of the Tahoe and went over and opened the door for Catherine.

"Honey we're here come on." Still in a daze he grabbed hold of her arm to help her out. "We have to do this, I will be right there with you."

Catherine slowly came out of her daze, trying to make her self believe that this really did happened, not some horrible dream. She wasn't sure how she was going to do this, how was she going to tell her dearest friend, Nicky and Greg that Sara was gone. Why had she been so selfish and left them? She had gone from not believing to angry in a matter of moments. She looked up at Warrick wiping away the remaining tears. Why didn't she come to one of us? Why? Catherine thought as they walked into the building. She took a deep breath and went to find Grissom.

Warrick held a tight grip on her hand as they walked the long hallway to Grissom's office. It seemed like it took forever, but then again she was in no hurry. She was relieved when he wasn't in his office. "Wonder where he is?" She thought to herself.

"We should page all three of them to Grissom's office and tell them in there." Warrick suggested.

After Catherine paged the guys, she went into the bathroom and splashed water on her face she had to be strong for the guys right now. It was going to be hard but it was something that she had to do. Walking back down the hall she meets up with Nicky.

"What's up?" he asked her you look like hell. "What's this big emergency?"

"Let's go into Grissom's office and wait for the other." she told him. Before she got into the office she looked up to see Grissom and Greg coming down the hall talking about a case.

"What is this big emergency Catherine?" Grissom asked her.

Just as she was about to answer him Warrick came out of the break room. Greg and Grissom walked into his office still talking about their case. Nick was busy on his phone.

"Catherine," Warrick called as she was about to go into the office. "I spoke with Brass and he filled Doc Robbins in on what was going on. "Are you ready to do this? We have to tell them before Doc Robbins returns with her body and Ecklie starts asking all kinds of questions."

"I don't know if I can," she whispered, "I still keep thinking it's all a dream and she will walk in her with her big gap tooth smile that we all love."

We have to we owe the guys that much, I don't want Ecklie doing it. Together hands entwined they entered Grissom's office to deliver the bad news.

"Okay what the hell is going on?" Grissom ask as they walks thought the door. "Does this have anything to do with your suicide that you were working on?"

"Grissom, Nicky, Greg, she paused between each name I don't even know how to say this." She started to say but stopped. oh god how do I tell them she thought to her self.

"What ever it is please just tell us" The worry growing in Grissom's voice. "It can't be that bad but please say something you're scaring us."

Looking around the room at the faces that she was about to break, she got prepared to blurt it out. Warrick who had been standing there quietly took a deep breath. "There is no easy way to tell you this." He began "I really wish I didn't have to but I do. Our victim was Sara, our Sara, she's dead."

The room was deathly quiet for what seemed like forever, Catherine broke down again seeing her legs about to give out Warrick helped her down to onto Grissom's couch.

Grissom, seated at his desk looked at Nick who was sitting in a chair and then to Greg who was standing staring at Warrick.

"No, this isn't true. Sara would never do this." Nick screamed. "I don't believe you please tell me this is a bad dream." By this time he was up and pacing the room. Tears welling up in his eyes. "I never saw it coming, I should have known. I should have paid more attention to the signs. Why?"

"

Grissom sat at his desk quietly taking it all in, he was still in shock over the news. He could believe that Sara would do this. His Sara strong, beautiful, hard headed Sara would never take her own life. This had to be a mistake…a mistake in identity. He looked over at Catherine who had her head in her hands quietly crying.

Greg jumped up and ran out from the room he couldn't breathe; this has to be a mistake. Sara would never take her own life, she was to full of life and loved her work. He couldn't listen to anymore.

Catherine got up from the couch and walked over to Grissom, kneeling down in front of him. She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. Quietly she spoke, "I'm sorry" was all she could say.

He stood and started for the door he needed to get out of there, there are to many memories. Like the others he had some many unanswered question the biggest one was why? Catherine grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug, all he wanted was to get out of there and be alone.

Nicky sat in a daze he couldn't move or even speak, he was trying to take it all in. He was still in shock over the news that Warrick had just told them. Warrick walked over and knelt down by Nick. Looking up at Warrick he had big tears in his eyes that were threatening to fall. He was afraid though that if he started crying he would never stop. Part of him was missing, his best friend was gone. Warrick pulled Nick up into a hug. That was about the only thing he could do for his friend at this moment, he wished he could take away his pain. Nick relaxed in Warwick's hug and returned it.

"Thanks" Nick's word were soft.

Warrick finally spoke after what seemed like forever. "I called Ecklie to take over the case." There is no way any of us are in any kind of shape to handle this right now and Brass has talked to Doc Robbins he will be handling that part of it." With that Warrick walked out with his arms around Catherine.

Grissom quickly exited his office in search of somewhere quiet that he could be alone with his thoughts and feelings. He felt like the walls were closing in on him, he headed for the nearest exit. He needed to be alone. He knew the news of Sara's death would be known to everyone in the building soon and he didn't feel like dealing with the questions or stares he would get. Once he made it outside he felt the anger building up inside him. 'Damn her, damn her to hell, why did she do it?' He anger quickly gave way to tears; he was not one to cry. But he couldn't help the tears welling up in his eyes and he couldn't stop them. Leaning against the side of the building and let the tears come and flow down his checks. After standing there for a while he got up and went back inside. There was something he needed to do.

Greg went back to his lab; he turned his music up loud and tried to concentrate on work. He was losing his battle to keep control of his emotions; he wasn't sure of what he was supposed to feel. At this moment he was numb, sad and a little angry at her for doing this. He kept asking the same question over and over why? But nobody seemed to have answer. Greg sat on the floor and started at his hands, the good memories of Sara came into his mind. How, she was there for him after the explosion. She understood what he was feeling that others did not. Feeling the walls closing in on him he got up and made his way down the hall he was going no where in particular but there was something he needed to see for himself.

Sitting alone in Grissom's Nick finally allowed his emotions to let go. The tears started to fall, slowly at first but before long he couldn't stop them. He was feeling to many emotions he was sad that his friend was gone, but he was angry at the way it happened. He was crying for his best friend, the one who was always there for him but he had failed her. He did not understand why she would do this; he should have seen this coming. He should have been able to stop her. WHY! Sara WHY did you do this? After his tear came no more he quickly left Grissom's office one destination in mind.

Catherine and Warrick sat quieting in the break room trying to take in everything that had happened.

"That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do." Warrick voice cracked as he spoke. "I still cant believe she is gone."

"I can't either, or maybe I don't want to believe it." Catherine's words soft. "How am I suppose to tell Lindsey? She looked up to Sara."

"We will figure out a way." Warrick assured her. "I still cant believe it. He said once again, hoping he would wake up from this bad dream.

Without warning Warrick jumped off the couch pulling Catherine up with him. She didn't question him so just followed, but she had an idea where he was headed.


	4. Dealing with the news

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

My Notes…Thanks for your kind words and encouragement…I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get another chapter to you…I will try my best to get another couple of chapters out to you soon…I am having a major case of writers block at the moment.. Hopefully it will pass soon…please review but be kind I am still without a beta so the mistakes are all mine…I hope you enjoy this chapter…

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Brass stood outside the morgue, he had escorted the Sara's body to the morgue. She was one of them after all and she deserved it. He still couldn't believe that this was happening. Why would she do it?

His mind wondered back to the events of the evening, Catherine's screams from inside the apartment, he knew it was something bad but he was not prepared for this. He couldn't believe Sara had taken her own life. He knew she was a workaholic, and close to burnout but never this. He interviewed her neighbor Beth himself he wanted it done right. He knew Ecklie, had been called in but to him it was just another case, he didn't care about Sara or what this was going to do to the night shift. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot she could tell him, she only talked to Sara on occasion. It wasn't like they were close friends, come to think of it Sara really didn't have any close friends.

Still in shock Brass was left with the unfortunate task of filling in Ecklie's team when they arrived. Brass decided to remain at the scene, he wanted to make sure it was done right. He made sure that Ecklie knew that nobody had been in the house since Catherine and Warrick left and that the coroner was already in there. He couldn't face going back into that apartment, he couldn't see Sara this way, he wanted to remember her the way she was when he saw her yesterday, so he waited outside. If not for Sara then for Nick, Catherine, Grissom, Warrick and Greg after all they had been his team at one time. But most of all they were his friends. Brass waited for the coroner to finish and then left when he did. The officer who found her was going to wait for the CSI's to finish and would hand the dog over to them.

Brass snapped back into reality when Ecklie started speaking to him. "These were found next to the bed," he handed Brass four envelopes. "We read a couple of them, they are no use to use, this was a cut and dry suicide." Eckie told him no emotion showed in his voice. "Dr. Robbins said that was how he would rule it, It's such a shame she was one hell of a good CSI." He stated as he started to walk away.

Brass started down the hallway in search of the graveyard shift. He knew they were dealing with a lot right now and he wanted to give them his support. Although Brass and Sara were not close friends, he felt that Grissom who is one of his best friends needed him and he would do everything he could to be there for his pal.

Doc Robbins had just finished with Sara's body and was about to pull the sheet up over her face when Grissom walked in.

"You should not be here this is no place to say for you to say good- bye" he told his friend.

"I know but I just needed to see for myself, I need to see that this is real. I can't believe she is gone. I needed to see her," Grissom slowly walked up to the table. "Please doc I need a few minutes."

"Okay," Doc turned and walked out of the autopsy suite.

Grissom stood there for what seemed like forever, looking down at the body of his friend and co-worker. Oh Sara, Why did this happen? He thought of all the things he should have done, should have said to her. He wished he had told her that he I did care about her. Why couldn't I tell her? If I had she would not have done this, she would still be alive. He jerked out of his thoughts when the door's to the autopsy suite opened and Nick entered the room.

"Sorry, Grissom I just wanted to see for my self. I still can't believe she is gone," he told his friend. "I have so many questions and no answers."

As Nick was approaching the table Greg comes flying through the door. He also needed to see for himself that this wasn't a bad dream.

"Sorry guys" he told them. "I just needed to know this was some sick joke. I will go."

"No," Nicky spoke quickly, "please stay she was your friend too and you are hurting as much as any of the rest of us. We do not understand why this happened but we have to lean on each other to get through it." Nicky motioned Greg up to the table.

"I can't he cried I can't see her like this not on this table." Greg yelled, "I don't want her to be gone." He quickly made his way to the door of the room.

As he was rushing out of the autopsy suite Warrick and Catherine were coming through the door almost running over them. Catherine could see the fear in Greg eyes, "I cant do this" he told her. Catherine grabbed Greg's arm and pulled him into a tight hug. "It's okay" she told him. "Do you want to walk up there? I will go with you" Catherine told Greg.

"Yes, I need to see for my self that she is gone," he told her in a whisper. Catherine took his hand and slowly walked up to the table joining Nick and Grissom standing beside the table. It was all she could do to keep it together. Warrick knew she needed him and walked up on the other side of her and put his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her head. The five of them stood there staring at the body of their friend, co-worker and ex-lover lying on that cold table.

Giving them just a little time Doc Robbins walked back into the room. "Guys his is no place to say good-bye" he told them.

Slowly one by one they walked out of the room. The five made their way to break room, nobody said a word; there were no words that could be said at this moment. The news was just starting to spread through the lab, the five received looks of sorrow and pity as they made their way down the hallway. Brass was waiting for them as they entered the break room.

"Ecklie needs Sara's file so he can contact her next of kin," Brass told Grissom.

Grissom was the only one at the lab who know the truth about Sara's parents, and he intended to keep that secret for her. This also meant that the horrible task of making funeral arrangements would fall to him.

He need to talk to Ecklie, quickly making his way out of the break room. Brass grabbed his arm and stopped him. He handed him five envelops each had their names on it in Sara's distinctive handwriting.

"These were found at the scene and Ecklie thought it would be best if I gave them to you," he told him.

Grissom looked at the envelopes like they would magically give him all the answers. He stuck his in his shirt pocket and handed the other four remaining members of the graveyard shift theirs. He quickly turned and walked out of the break room in search of Ecklie.

He didn't know if his team would ever recover from this tragedy, but the sooner he got this over with the sooner he could go home to his quiet townhouse and grieve for the woman he loved. He did love her; he had been such an idiot not to tell her.

Sara's case file was sitting on Ecklie's desk when Grissom walked into the office. He quickly closed it. It looked as though he had been crying, but then again the heartless Ecklie would never cry for one of Grissom's team members.

"Conrad, I will take care of Sara's next of kin notification ." He told the assistant director. "She was my responsibility."

"Okay." His words were quiet. "She was a good CSI and will be missed."

"Thanks." Grissom made his way back to the quiet of his office.

Walking past the break room, Grissom could see the broken expressions on the faces of his team. The reality of what had happen was just starting to set in, and it would be a long process of grieving.

Finally making it into his office without being bothered, Grissom slammed his office door shut behind him. Picking up the phone book he searched the listings for the name of a funeral home.

"Oh, Sara why did you do this? Tears began to fall as he searched out the information he needed.

After making the necessary arrangements with the funeral home. He went in search of Doc Robbins, he need to let him know which funeral home would be coming for Sara's body. It sounded so strange to refer to her as a body and not a person. Walking back toward the autopsy suite he realized that he needed to go by Sara's apartment and find out if she had a will or left any instructions in the event of her death. He wasn't sure he was strong enough for that, maybe he would ask Brass to do it.

"Grissom," Doc acknowledged him. "You shouldn't be in here."

"I just wanted to let you know that I made arrangements with the funeral home for pick up. He couldn't bring himself to say body, that was so cold."

Putting his hand on Grissom shoulder, "Thanks for letting me know."

Without another word Grissom simply walked out of the suite and back toward his office. He ignored the looks of pity and sorrow he got as he went down the corridor.

Catherine, Nick, Warrick, and Brass were sitting in his office, waiting for him to return.

"We thought you could use some support when you call Sara's family." Catherine was the first to speak.

"I have already taken care of it," Grissom wasn't ready to share any more with the group. "Go home guys get some sleep."

No one seemed to move, it was like nobody wanted to leave.

"GO HOME!" Grissom's anger startled them.

One by one they made their way out of his office. Just as Brass was leaving Grissom grabbed his arm.

"I need a favor."

"Sure, what's up pal." Brass would do anything to help the team.

"I need you to go by Sara's apartment and see if you can find a will or any instructions she may have left in case of her death." Grissom's words came out fast.

Without any question Brass exited Grissom's office in search of the needed items.

Sitting in his office all alone, Grissom pulled out the letter that Sara had left them. His hands shook as he looked at the envelope. He was desperately in need of answers but he just couldn't bring himself to open the letter.

Grabbing his jacket he headed out the door, destination unknown.


End file.
